segunda-feira, fevereiro 18, 2008

10 erros que comprometem sua capacidade de conversar com as pessoas

Standard

Eis os 10 erros mais comuns na arte de conversar:



Metralhar com perguntas



Pessoas gostam de conversar, mas não de ser interrogadas. Se você é muito curioso sobre o assunto, dê espaço para que a outra pessoa discorra livremente, pontue com comentários próprios, e deixe o diálogo fluir.



Calar-se como um túmulo



Silêncios constrangedores. Acontece assim: você sai de casa sem ler o jornal, encontroa um conhecido no trabalho, termina de tomar o café, o assunto se esgota e os dois permanecem calados, sem um fio de história para continuar o papo.



Quem nunca passou por isso? Se você não é íntimo do interlocutor, relaxe e trate-o como um velho amigo, ele provavelmente também está desconfortável e vai se sentir bem com isso. Se o assunto não aparecer, faça como Mia Wallace em Pulp Fiction, que diante de um silêncio desconfortável, puxou assunto sobre… silêncios desconfortáveis!



Expressão verbal e corporal incongruentes.



Tão importante quanto o que você diz é a forma como se expressa, seja pelo tom de voz, velocidade e posição corporal.



Para melhorar sua expressão, experimente:




  • Diminuir o ritmo, se você se empolgou muito com o assunto, tende a falar mais alto, mais rápido, e a usar os braços como se fosse um boneco de posto de gasolina. Desacelere.

  • Ou fale mais alto, especialmente se estiver em um ambiente aberto. Se as pessoas inclinam o corpo inteiro na sua direção e apertam os olhos, hora de aumentar o volume.
    Fale claramente, não murmure nem mastigue as palavras

  • Use sua emoção e faça pausas. Falar dois minutos em um único tom transforma seu discurso em uma leitura de ata de condomínio.
    Evite hábitos prejudiciais à sua expressão corporal, veja estas 14 dicas para melhorar sua linguagem corporal.



Roubar a cena


Quando uma pessoa está falando e você a interrompe bruscamente está sendo grosseiro, não importa a relevância do que tem a dizer. Ao menos que precise gritar FOGO ou TERREMOTO, espere a pessoa concluir, ou um ensejo no meio da conversa.



Estar sempre certo



Poucas atitudes são tão grosseiras quanto impor a outras pessoas seu ponto de vista. Discussões servem para trocar idéias e, eventualmente, mudar de opinião, mas insistir até que o outro fique exausto e concorde com você é condenar-se a estar sempre certo e sozinho.



Assuntos intragáveis


Quase todos os assuntos têm um contexto adequado para conversação. É preciso considerar, além do seu gosto pessoal, os interesses das pessoas e o ambiente ao redor. Um exemplo sobre o que não fazer encontra-se no filme Perfume de Mulher, em que o general (Al Pacino) discorre sobre suas relações com as prostitutas vietnamitas, durante a ceia de Natal com a família.



Tédio


A melhor precaução para não se tornar o chato da turma é estar atento às outras pessoas. Você está falando há 10 minutos sobre o negócio fantástico que fechou na Argentina, mas ninguém contribui com comentários, os olhares se dissipam, o eco da sua voz bate na parede e volta límpido? Hora de mudar de assunto.



Falta de Reciprocidade



Todos nós temos algo a contribuir em um diálogo. Mesmo que não seja expert no assunto, experiências pessoais, opiniões e percepções próprias são válidas e bem-vindas.


Em suma, participe! Mesmo que o assunto não seja o seu preferido, aproveite a oportunidade para desenvolver habilidades importantes, como observar, formular perguntas, demonstrar interesse pelas idéias de outra pessoa. No mínimo, vai ser mais uma oportunidade para demonstrar atenção, interesse, e (por que não?) generosidade.



Baseado no texto Do you make these 10 mistakes in a conversation? do Positivity Blog. e via


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